I need to get this off my chest because this has been an on-going issue for months, actually YEARS: My mother clears favors my brother over me. FUCKING CLEARLY. Okay back story:

About a two months ago I woke up at 9:00am on a Sunday. I went downstairs to get some water before I showered for work. Greeted by my mother in the kitchen, she says to me, "Do you have to work this morning?" (To which I respond "Yeah, at 10:45") So she said "Well you should probably hurry up because your brother took the car to go to the beach with Katie" (Katie is his girlfriend. She lives in Marblehead. Matt and I share the car. At this point I start fighting with my mom "Are you fucking serious I've been working at 10:45 every Sunday for the last 6 months." Maybe even longer. She claims that no one knew I was working because I didn't tell anyone. I shouldn't have had to tell anyone since I've worked every Saturday and Sunday fucking regardless since October. So she tells me that's just too bad and that I'll have to walk to work...3.2 miles...which I've walked to before, but this time I had to fucking book it. So I hurried the fuck up and showered, but it was already 80 degrees out this particular morning, making me a sweaty disgusting mess when I got to work. My GM was there (usually I get away with murder when it comes to him but he must have been in a bad mood this day)...he threatened to send me home because technically I wasn't in uniform (because I looked gross and smelled). And I could have been fired if he had been in a really really bad mood. He didn't send me home. I just cleaned up in the bathroom. Later I told my mom this and she still claims that it was all my fault.

Then maybe 3 weeks later Matt took the car to see Katie some time in the evening on a Sunday night. I had understood that he would be leaving her house early because he couldn't stay over there late for some reason. I would call him ten minutes before I was done for the night so that he could leave from Stoneham to pick me up. Chili's closed at 10, and after cleaning for shitty shitty people and a $5 tip, I texted Matt to pick me up at 10:50. No response. Twenty minutes later he texts me back to say he's on the highway...I assumed that he was taking the highway from Stoneham to pick me up faster. Whatever. I sat outside assuming that he'd be there soon. Fifteen minutes go by. I text him and he says he's in Lynnfield. BULLSHIT. I start walking home. At this point I'm bawling my eyes out because my brother is a piece of shit, so I call Christian and try to hold back tears as I calmly tell him what happened. I walked half way home (3.2 miles remember) before my brother picked me up at 11:30 in the middle of Wakefield...there was no way he was in Lynnfield because it's 5 minutes up the highway. When I got home I told my mom what happened and she did nothing. She said that she should have reminded him to leave earlier. No fucking way. He shouldn't have to rely on his mommy for these things. AND when I asked him "what if I actually got out on time" he responded that he would have picked me up at 11:30 anyway. My mom didn't ground him or anything. If the situation were reversed, I wouldn't be able to take the car for at least a week.

Oh, and have I failed to mention that he sees Katie at least 4 times a week? I don't even see my boy friend this much and he lives 3 minutes away over the Wakefield line. Matt's always pissed about how I never put gas in the car, but he's the one always using it. I only get to drive it to work SOMETIMES.

Today Matt went up to Katie's for the afternoon, but wasn't planning on staying because she just had her wisdom teeth pulled. I texted him when I got out of work at 5 to see when he'd be home because I wanted to go out when he got home. He said he didn't know when he was leaving. So at 7:30 I texted him saying "Thanks for getting back to me asshole I wanted to go out but now I can't". I wanted to go to the mall, which closes at 9...he's so inconsiderate. If he's going to be there until 8:30 (I just heard the car pull up), he should say he's staying for dinner and maybe later. Around 8pm my mom comes barreling up the stairs screaming at me because I called my brother an asshole. Okay who's 18 and calls his mommy on his sister because she called him an asshole. Really? Yes, really.

It's so outrageous that she treats him so differently. The part that's even more outrageous is that this has always been an issue. I remember being 10 and crying to my psychiatrist about how my mom loved my brother more (I had plenty of reasoning to back this up). My psychiatrist told my mom this (because I wanted her to), but my mom didn't see it, and it fucking continues to this day. The only other person who sees this is my dad, but he could care less about me, and he sort of thinks this situation is hilarious. He even enables the situation by referring to my brother as "The Chosen One".

So I never get to see my friends. I never make plans because I don't know if he's already made plans to take the car. I'll make plans and tell him, but then he takes the car anyway, claiming he had no idea. Oh, and then he trashes the car. Thanks, Matt.

I'm so angry right now it's not even funny. I'm not even angry at my brother anymore; I'm just absolutely livid at my mom. She lets him get away with all of this and then blames it on my lack of communication skills.

I hope all of this makes sense, and if I'm wrong about this, please tell me.

This isn't even all of it. There's so much more, and it's not even about the car. I just can't take it.

Today I'm happy